"What if I ask you with tears?
What if I kneel before you and beg?
Would you stay for me?
I know you love her
Love her like a diamond
Even when she doesn’t love you
You still love her like a fool
Everybody loves her
Everybody loves her
She is a perfect, brilliant diamond
She is graceful, she is beautiful
I’m an insignificant sand that blows away in the wind
I’m lowly, I drift
She is a perfect, brilliant diamond
She is pure, she is untainted
I’m an insignificant sand that blows away in the wind
I’m jaded, I’m complicated
She is a priceless diamond
I’m a worthless sand
She is diamond, I’m sand"
-- "Diamond" sung by Barbie Hsu
I was forcefully reminded of these lyrics the other day when I dreamt about being with someone I couldn't. Someone who is already in a committed relationship. Someone who, in my dream, loved me as much as those old couples you see on the street who've been married for 50+ years and are still in love. You know those dreams right? Those dreams where you're in so much love and everything feels right except for one thing. One thing that tells you its all a dream (so Inception... D:) like the fact that the kissing feels wrong or the person is not quite as detailed as they should be. I had the same(ish) dream again yesterday only to wake up today and remember that it's "Single Awareness Day" or as it's known by the saps in love "Valentine's Day". Although it's awkward to wake and realize that someone you love in your dream is not someone you love in real life, it's even more awkward to go school and know that you're going to see that person during that day. But whatever, I figured whatever leftover remnants of pretend love would disappear by the time I saw that person later today. I figured it wouldn't hurt so much knowing that he/she was going to spend the night on some romantic date with his/her lover. I did not figure that I was going to bump into that person on my way to class so early in the morning and was (again) forced to do something I didn't want to, which, as sad as it is, was to slow my pace of walking (walking fast is the only way to walk :P) in order to prevent crashing into that person. We ended up exchanging a silent greeting: me giving a small smile, the said person, a nod of the head. This made me wonder, somewhere underneath the pretend layer of ice over my heart, if it was possible to have people share dreams. What I mean is.... if I dream of you, will you dream of me in the same instant? Nah, I'm being nonsensical. Forget it. Eventually, someday, I'll find that "once in a lifetime" love that everyone's always talking about. Someday I'll have a happily ever after, grow wings, and fly away to enjoy my Disney inspired honeymoon. :P
In the meantime, I'll enjoy the depressing lyrics that were translated solely for the purpose of people who are reading this blog to actually be able to understand it. (Note: these translations were not done by me. I do not claim copyright- not that you can really copyright words but whatever....)
"Someone requested a song on the radio
It played I Remember I Have Loved
In the rear-view mirror, I didn't say much
I watch you getting off the car, going up the floor
I hold tight the stray lace
Your face flashes before me
I have some inklings
At this moment, I hold back my questions
I remember I have loved
I can't get back those happiness
Scared that my emotions would be out control
Scared that I would cry a river
Scared to force you to do things
I remember I have loved and understood
The turning point in your feelings
Tears wet through the paper crane
Love grays the colors
And my heart feels as if it is being rip apart
It can't be easily healed anymore
You said you were only friends
I went along with a heavy heart
Your eyes are evading me
At this moment
What else have you not said
You lower your head to put on some nail polish
Counting the cherry flowers
The picture fills with tenderness
But I'm counting in my head
The number of times you have given me the silent treatment
I remember I have loved
I can't get back those happiness
Scared that my emotions would be out control
Scared that I would cry a river
Scared to force you to do things
I remember I have hated and gone mad
I started talking to myself
Tears wet through the paper crane
Love grays the colors
And my heart felt as if it was being rip apart
I remember I have loved
I can't get back those happiness
Scared that my emotions would be out control
Scared that I would cry a river
Scared to force you to do things
It can't be easily healed anymore"
-- "I Remember I Loved" sung by Peter Ho
